Loving Massage: Secret to Great Senior Sex

Glowing candles setting the mood for Loving Massage

Vicki here. . .

Most people think of massage as a luxurious way to relax, something to do by themselves. Recently, however, couple massages have become popular at vacation resorts and spas. As it turns out, this activity is just what seniors need to improve their health, but that’s not all. Today, we’re going to talk about how Loving Massage is a sure way to make your relationship more intimate. And, how this intimacy ultimately leads to great sex.

We know that even a simple pat on the back improves the health of seniors. The sad news is that old folks deprived of touch die at twice the rate as their luckier counterparts. Loving Massage provides the antidote for this and takes the benefits of touch to a new level.

Loving Massage as foreplay

Imagine for a moment, the luscious caress of your beloved’s soft hands on your body, his warm hands slowly soothing the sensitive areas of your shoulders and neck with his fingertips, lingering in the soft hollows, easing the tension.

Hugging, stroking, and caressing the skin causes the body to release oxytocin, the “love hormone,” throughout our body. While this hormone creates pleasurable sensations, it also increases feelings of trust and bonding in couples. Loving Massage is a natural aphrodisiac that increases intimacy between lovers and creates the mood for sex.

A great improvement over manipulating genitals, Loving Massage builds sexual arousal slowly and erotically. The entire body becomes erogenous when lovers massage each other, arousal being the body’s natural response to loving, sensual touch. Longer foreplay is important for seniors because we aren’t as easily aroused as we used to. We may end with a bang, but it takes us a while to get there. Loving Massage is the most pleasurable, dependable way to turn each other on.

Men with erectile dysfunction (ED) need more time, intimacy, and physical touch to get an erection. Women who’ve lost their sexual desire find massage a non-threatening way to enjoy affection and sensual pleasure. Whatever the issue, Loving Massage is the secret to keeping sexual desire and intimacy alive as we age.

Woman's forehead being lovingly massaged

Loving Massage is strong medicine

In addition to romance, Loving Massage is a virtual medicine cabinet for the ills that affect seniors:

  • Decreases chronic pain of osteoarthritis, neuropathy
  • Lowers systolic blood pressure in hypertension
  • Acts as a buffer against stress and anxiety
  • Reduces depression in women
  • Induces peaceful sleep

In a culture dominated by big Pharma, massage is considered an “alternative” therapy, but human touch is strong medicine. Gentle stroking of the arms and legs stimulates CT afferent fibers, which exist solely to give us a sense of pleasure and well-being. So powerful was a one-hour massage given by family members on postoperative cardiac patients that researchers recommended that massages become routine clinical practice in the ICU.

There are no downsides or negative side effects to massage when it’s given in a caring manner. Best of all, you don’t need to be a massage therapist to give a loving massage that delights your partner. Additionally, the overall health benefits of massage strengthen the giver as much as the receiver!

Easy to do and a pleasure to receive

Although giving a Loving Massage does not require professional training, there are certain things we recommend you do to make it pleasurable for both of you.

  1. Decide the boundaries together: Ask your partner where he wants to be touched and, equally important, where not to be touched. Find out if he wants sensitive areas avoided. How much pressure is he comfortable with? At one time, Kevin had neuropathy in his feet and didn’t want them massaged because even gentle touching was painful. If you are the receiver, be sure you feel comfortable during the massage. When you are not, communicate that to your partner.
  2. Set the intention: The purpose of Loving Massage is to connect deeply with your partner through loving touch. Although you will enjoy touching her body (which is expected) and she may become aroused (which is OK too), the intention of the massage is to create emotional intimacy through sensual pleasure without a sexual agenda. The primary intention should be simply to give pleasure, not to have sex.
  3. Create the moment: Begin the massage only when you are both in a loving mood. Shut out the mundane world by turning off media like TV, computers, and phones. Put the animals outside and make sure you are not disturbed. Choose a warm, comfortable place with soft music and lighting. Create a ritual that serves as a container for the massage, and bathe beforehand, perhaps together.
  4. Hold the mindset: This means staying in the present moment, focused on the massage and what you are feeling–both as giver and receiver. Loving Massage is an exercise in mindfulness, so when your mind wanders to other things (which it will), gently bring your thoughts back to what you are doing and experiencing. Feel your lover’s skin as if you were feeling it for the first time. Pay special attention to his subtle responses as they will guide your hands.
  5. Touch consciously: In the beginning, gently stroke your partner’s arms and legs so she has time to get used to your hands on her body. Massage her entire body slowly, saving the erogenous zones until later when you both feel fully connected. Avoid focusing on the breasts and genitals as your intention is to please the whole body, not to turn her on, at least not in the beginning, or without mutual agreement. Remember to massage her hands and feet as those hard-working appendages always love to be caressed.
Our first massage experience

When Kevin and I first met, I canceled a date because I wasn’t feeling well that day. Instead of letting it go, he offered to come over, give me a non-sexual massage, and then leave. Just that, nothing more. Sure, I said, thinking a massage would help me feel better. So, he came over, gave me a deep sensual massage, and then he was gone, leaving me alone feeling all warm and fuzzy. . .and wanting more! Well, that got my attention!

Massage is a major form of communication between us. Whole body massages are my favorite. There is something indescribably wonderful about having Kevin’s full attention on me while he wraps his big hands around my back, then runs them from my shoulders down to my toes. And, his loving touch relieves the chronic pain in my hips as well as the arthritic pain in his hands while he’s massaging me! We can’t quite figure it out, but neither of us feels pain during a massage or for some time afterward.

We also use massage to reconnect when we’ve lost “that lovin’ feeling”. . . and it never fails us. I mean, how could I not respond to the loving strokes and undivided attention of my beloved?

Loving Massage for health and happiness

We must accept the reality that human touch and massage are a major source of health and happiness for seniors. Otherwise, we’ll continue to search outside ourselves for the source of good health when much of what we need is at our fingertips. No pill will ever be able to give us the sense of emotional well-being and pure pleasure that human touch does.

If loving sex is the elixir for maintaining vibrant health in old age as I have written, then Loving Massage is the container for that love potion. This is no miracle because the body is hardwired to feel pleasure when it receives loving touch. 

Senior man having shoulders massaged

Kevin here…

Vicki, you are so right about massage. It is a source of healing, connection, and love for both of us. And I often find it’s the key to my sexual arousal.

Sometimes I find myself feeling vaguely irritated, unsatisfied, and grumpy for no obvious reason. When I notice it, I look inside and discover I want to connect intimately with Vicki. I want sex with her. But (and this is a big but) I’m not in the slightest bit horny!

Loving Massage arouses sexual desire

As a younger man, this literally never happened. Sexual desire always seemed to come from my horny libido. In my experience, being horny was how I knew I wanted sex. And, it seemed perfectly natural to take that horniness to my lover and initiate sex. But now in my more mellow, older years, I am much less horny but much more desirous of intimate, sexual connection. So, I’ve had to find a different way to approach my beloved. It still seems a bit disconcerting to think about initiating sex without the sexual need, without that horny itch. I still hesitate, fearful that arousal will fail me, and I suspect many older men feel the same way. This is where massage comes in.

Sometimes, we’re too tired for sex, and the massage is simply a loving gift of touch, affection, and intimate connection. At times, the massage starts with the intention of sensual pleasure alone, only to morph, with mutual consent, into sexy play and intercourse. At other times, the massage is purposeful, delightful foreplay—a superb vehicle to turn each other on. I find massage to be the ideal appetizer when I want sex but am not horny.

Loving Massage is intimate connection with or without sex

We come together in the massage room, our intimate sanctuary, to prepare the space. One or both of us light the candles, program the music, and warm the room. Our intentions are clear. I lay my hands on Vicki’s back and waist and breathe deeply. Her skin is soft and warm. She feels so alive when I sense her heartbeat and the primal tides of her breath. I gently stroke her shoulders and arms, back, hips, buttocks, and legs. As I skim over her ass, it feels slightly cool and incredibly soft. I catch my breath as the first glimmer of sexual arousal courses through my nervous system. Yeah, lol, I am an “ass man!”

Soon, I reach for the coconut oil. I scoop a generous portion into the small of her back and let it melt into a reservoir that I use to anoint her body. Always carefully monitoring her breathing and body tremors, I vary my technique. First stroking soft and long on her skin, then firmly kneading her muscles, and finally gently massaging her face.

I literally worship her body with my hands. Together, we experience our connection and love through touch. As I worship her, the magic of touch banishes the aches and pains in our old bodies. Not only hers but mine as well. My arthritic hands become supple and pain-free as she moans her appreciation. I love to take my time, but soon an urgency finds me, and I redouble my efforts. Without thinking, I use my entire body to massage hers. My elbows dig into her buttocks, my chin into her scapulas, and I caress her whole body with my torso. The very idea that I could not be aroused seems impossible. From zero to 100 with a simple massage. 

Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

 

7 Comments

  1. Jane Russell October 2, 2018 at 8:28 pm - Reply

    Great piece and I’ve got to say that Kevin’s portion was pretty sexy. 😊

    • Kevin October 22, 2018 at 7:58 am - Reply

      Thx, I think honesty and shared emotions are always sexy!

  2. Alyssa Anaya October 2, 2018 at 9:54 pm - Reply

    What a beautiful article. I’m so inspired by it, I want to do massage as foreplay with my lover! And I really appreciated the parts written by both Vicki and Kevin – so important to have both perspectives. Looking forward to more massage in my life now! And more articles by you two.

    • Victoria October 19, 2018 at 10:21 pm - Reply

      Thank you, Alyssa! You will love every minute of the massage. Much love to you, Vicki

  3. Lindy James October 3, 2018 at 8:36 am - Reply

    Dear Kevin and Vicki, this is so wonderful! I love what you’re writing and how are you writing it. Such a needed topic and so well spoken.
    Keep going! Love Lindy

  4. Mary Sullivan October 3, 2018 at 11:57 am - Reply

    I love it. I use Massage all the time, With my lover. Not only does it help reduce pain, but it gives him an experience that he’s never had before, while making me feel so much closer to him. I feel that I know parts of his body that perhaps maybe he doesn’t even know. Besides it has to do with all the hormones, and we all know hormones make the world go around

  5. Anonymous October 20, 2018 at 6:45 am - Reply

    test comment

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2018-12-04T12:39:08+00:00